You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
