i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
