do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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