There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
