just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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