...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
