Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
