Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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