do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
