I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
