my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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