woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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