i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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