apparently the secret to your success is patron
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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