At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
