so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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