just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
