we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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