I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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