In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
