Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
