Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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