Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
