oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
