he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
