i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
please don't ironically join a cult
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