Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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