Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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