Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
