her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
