thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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