he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
