lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
