So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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