Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize