How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize