they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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