Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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