her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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