you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Don't tell me you're on acid again
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize