Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's just like the Real World with babies
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
