If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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