Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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