I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
