Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
