I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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