help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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