I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
