Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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