Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
