What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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