bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
