True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
