That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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