you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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