Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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